What a fucking waste of an outfit
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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