i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
