can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
