We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
