gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
