Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
