I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
no you cant smoke seaweed
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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