STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
