his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
