She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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