The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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