I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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