i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
