I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
