Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
