found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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