I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
