im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
