If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
