I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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