my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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