hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
