this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
