yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
