I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
