its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize