So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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