when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
