You just made me feel so damn special
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
