You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
