i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
