Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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