that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
