My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I am mentally ready for anal.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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