I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Randomize
