I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
