No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
