Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
