why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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