I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
