He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
