where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
