I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
