My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
