Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
