why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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