im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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