So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
