if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
