Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
