batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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