Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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