Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
