Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
