New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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