I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
