i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
