Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im holly from the hills drunk
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
