I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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