Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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