So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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