it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
