i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
