I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize