The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
