and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
