He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
the raccoons are back...
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