Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize