Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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