There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
