I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
