hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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