The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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