a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
