FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she smelled like a LAN party
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
