Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize