I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
