He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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