Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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