Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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