what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
